She frantically ran into the room yelling, “CHIP! CHIP!  I THINK HE’S GONE…I THINK HE’S GONE!”

We both dashed into the living room and there, peacefully, sat my Dad, her soulmate, slumped over in his favorite chair, gone.

He hadn’t been well for a while.  Five years ago he was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer.  Rounds of chemo and radiation miraculously pushed him past that only to then get hit with a mini-stroke; which left him not as mobile, a little forgetful, and the classic example of a “grumpy old man.”   He still had his sense of humor but it was peppered with a frustration of not being able to be the man he once was.  Every time I had seen him for the past five years he would joke, “this is probably the last time you’re going to see me.”  To which I would I would always reply, “you keep saying that but yet your still here.”

And, now, he wasn’t.

After a quick call to the hospice nurse, my mother and I sat there crying.  Me trying to comfort her and she trying to comfort me.  in between the tears there was silence.  A silence that was only broken by the rhythmic churn of my Dad’s oxygen tank.

I stopped, pointed to the oxygen machine, and asked my Mom, “Are we just leaving that on in case we’re wrong?”

She stopped crying for a moment, laughed and said, “Yes, let’s just wait for the hospice nurse to get here.”

Some might think that to have been in bad taste but, for our family, humor has always been the single common denominator that has kept us together.  That moment of laughter was, for both of us, a much needed respite from a desperate situation.  Moreover, I knew my Dad would’ve thought it funny as well.  The real inheritance us six kids got was his sense of humor (because, like he said, “I’m not leaving you anything else.”)

As with my siblings, humor has been the single greatest tool I’ve had in dealing with people, situations, and tribulations.  As a husband, father and leader, humor has helped me through it all.  It can do the same for you.

Have a slip up at work?  Laugh first!  Leaders that can laugh at their own mistakes give their people the permission to do the same.  Further, if you’re bold enough to find the funny you help create an atmosphere of risk without fear of reprise.  Your team won’t be afraid to step outside their comfort zone and make a mistake.  Laugh and then find the learning.

Not getting along with your significant other?  Remind each other of something fun that you did together and then be in that moment.  An article I read in Psychology Today a few years ago asked successful couples what kept them together (they viewed “success” as being married 50+ years) and the answer was, “there ability to laugh during trying times.”  They had reference points for humor that helped them get past the difficulty.  Don’t have any reference points?  Make some or get a new other….you gotta laugh. (Disclaimer:  I am not a relationship coach).

Facing a bad day or had one?  Find the humor in the situation or take a humor break.  If I’m facing something or am going through something arduous, I’ll watch anything with Will Ferrell.  His brand of humor always makes me laugh.  That laughter is like a helicopter that takes me up over my issues so I can get a new perspective.  Sometimes all we need is just one thing to help us make the mental adjustment needed to get past the difficulty and get back down to business.  Find out what tickles your funny bone and make it work for you.

Dealing with difficult people?  Don’t take it out on others, call the person that makes you laugh.  We all have that one person that gets it, gets us and will help us laugh it out.  Don’t have that person, call me.

When all six of us kids got together that week, we laughed a lot…remembering the fun we had as kids, ribbing each other and sharing the humor legacy that our father had given us.  We needed that and we needed each other in order to get through the week.

Personally and professionally, each day brings challenges.  My challenge to you is to find the humor.  Use it strategically to connect with others, cope, and communicate the message when the barriers are up.  Everyone has a sense of humor and everyone needs humor to carry on.  So, if it’s getting bad, laugh it off.  Everyone will benefit.

Here’s to us, as we face each day with hope, humanity, and humor!