I’d been planning it for about a month. I had contacted the people who ran the Chris Isaak concert where I had bought tickets but had heard nothing back. The day was here, I had no set plan, wanted it to be perfect, and the clock was ticking. Yes, today was the day I was going to “pop” the question.

My original plan was to contact the concert managers and see if I could do it during the concert. With that planing failing, I figured I would do it at dinner. The whole evening was planned as a rouse in going out for Gwen’s birthday (which it was) but, obviously, I had bigger plans. Dinner, although at a great steakhouse, was too noisy. Then, at the concert, it was also too noisy. When was I going to do this?

Finally, after the concert, hand in hand, Gwen and I walked down Wacker Drive in Chicago and I knew that this was the time. There was a light snow falling, the Christmas lights lit up the street and I couldn’t have asked for a more picturesque setting in which to do this.

Me: “How was your birthday?”
Gwen: “It was the best.”
Me: “Is there anything I could’ve done to make it better?”
Gwen: “No, it was perfect.”
Me: “Nothing? Nothing would have made it better?”
Gwen: “No, really, it was the best. I couldn’t have asked for a better day.”
Me: “Not even if (pulls out ring) I asked you to marry me?”

As tears started to well up in her eyes, I got on my knee and started to hand her the ring and THEN IT HAPPENED! This moment, not perfect by design but perfect as the circumstances evolved was interrupted by a vagrant who, seeing the opportunity to score some change by asking somebody that had stopped, came up and inserted himself into my moment.

Him: “Hey, can you spare a buck?”
Me: “Look, you’re really ruining a moment here.”
Him: “What’s going on? You got nothing?”
Me: “I’ve got something, if you give me a few minutes.”

Seeing what was going on (I’ll give him credit for that), he stopped, looked at my position, her hand, the ring, and then went into his “love is a treasured thing” speech about how to make our marriage work.

What kind of crap was this? Didn’t this guy know what I had been going through to make this all perfect?

How many moments have you had like that in your life? Moments that you work on, plan for and then don’t go according to plan (or get interrupted by a person asking for money)? If you’re like me, I’m sure you’ve had your share.

In those moments, we have a choice. We can choose to get all pissed off, angry and let it control us or we can choose something else. I chose the latter and so can you.

I chose to take the long range view. There’s no such thing as perfect. The moment being interrupted, Chris Isaak’s promoters not responding, and other circumstances weren’t as important as what I wanted in the end (this foxy redhead to be my wife). Look at the end and let the rest go. It’s just a moment in a series that won’t go the way you want but it doesn’t matter if you keep your eye on the end result. Take a breath and take another step.

I chose to accept the moment as a gift. I couldn’t have planned this guy coming up and asking for money. I couldn’t have planned him sharing his tips on maintaining a successful relationship. It was a gift. The moment was made more memorable because of it. If something doesn’t go the way you want, look for what you can glean from the experience. Did you learn something? Was there value added? There’s always some nugget if we look hard enough. Accept the gift.

I chose to find the humor. This was’t hard. It was funny. The perfect moment was made more perfect because humor was involved. They say that tragedy plus time equals comedy. Sometimes, that time is immediate and sometimes we need to speed it up manually. Regardless, humor isn’t elusive if you’re actively looking for it every day. Exercise that humor muscle and it will get stronger.

There is a Yiddish proverb that says, “Man plans, God laughs.” We all make plans and rarely do they go the way we want. That’s the crap we deal with daily. Don’t let the crap control you, look for ways to control the crap and laugh along with God. It’s in your control.

She said “Yes” by the way (and I gave the guy a five spot).

Looking for more strategies to Get Past Your Crap? My new book “Get Past The Crap: Lead Yourself First. Bounce Back. GET SHI*T DONE!” is coming out in January! Start the New Year out right and email me at chip@unconventionalleader.com me for details!