I stood there in complete amazement as the man yelled, “Hey!!  You can’t cut!!  There’s a line here!  What are you doing!?”   No, he wasn’t yelling at me…he was yelling at a another man who was trying to board our 5 hour flight to San Francisco ahead of him.  It was like, somehow, we had been catapulted back into the second grade and a fight was going to ensue that the teachers would have to break up.  At first, the man tried to ignore what was being said but, after noticing that EVERYONE was looking, he sheepishly moved backward into obscurity and boarded the plane when no one would object.  Like I stated, I was amazed at what had just happened but not surprised.   Everywhere I go seems to have an abundance of people that are stewing in a cesspool of negativity and anger.  Granted, in the world, we will always encounter angry people but, lately, I seem to be noticing it much more.  This may sound elementary, but I really think the world is getting to us.  The economy, downsizing, rightsizing, and the constant onslaught of peril we see on the news are definitely taking their toll.

The same rings true for many of our returning Veterans.  Many times we are angry and don’t know where to turn or what to do when reintegrating back to civilian life.  We can’t run optimally or reach our true potential when we are running on negative emotion and anger.  Doing this is like putting bad gas into our tanks – it’s going to cause some performance problems!  Leading others starts with leading yourself.  When you feel the weight of life bearing down on you and negativity starting to swell, try one of these strategies.

Talk It Out
When I bottle my anger up, it’s going to come out some time and when it does, it is usually MUCH WORSE than if I had addressed it head on in the first place.  If I have something that is bothering me, I’ll talk about it with a trusted friend or someone that can help me with the situation.  This can help me not only get it out there but also get another perspective on the issue.  No two people looking at the same thing will perceive it the same way.  Get a second opinion and get it out there.  If it involves a person, open up lines of communication and let them know.  From my end, there’s nothing worse than someone being angry and me not knowing why.  If I know, I can do something about it.

Find The Humor
I found the humor in the second grade antics of the man at the airport even if he didn’t.  If I were he, would I have found it as funny?  Maybe not but I certainly could’ve found something funny to think about to get my mind out of the spiral of negativity.  That’s all we need sometimes is one thing to help us get over the hump and get back to business.  I have several “fail safes” for bringing a smile to my face (most of them involve my wife and kids – they continually make me laugh).  Take a mental break by finding the funny, smiling, and moving on.

Divert Your Attention
The single best application I purchased for my iPhone this year is Scrabble!  Traveling can have its stressful moments.  Being delayed, diverted or cancelled can be enough to drive one crazy!  Why?  Because I’m not in control!  Many times with anger what we’re dealing with is control and predictability.  If we lose control or can’t predict what’s going happen, anger can be a result.  What can I control?  Myself!  I can control where my attention goes and what I cam going to pay attention to.  I can’t control the airline but I CAN control what letters make a fabulous word in scrabble.  Pick something that works for you.  It could be exercise, reading, watching a fun video – anything that diverts your attention for that moment where you might do or say something destructive that is going to be regretted.

These aren’t the only things that we can do.  These are just three practical strategies I use for leading myself when the world is trying to lead me astray.   Deciding to use one of them comes at a moment of choice.  But when I choose to use a strategy I have control of the situation and it doesn’t have control over me.  It allows me to be at my best, give my best, and help others do the same.  Make a choice to enjoy more and stress less.  I think you’ll like the results!  And, it’s never wrong to seek help if you need it.