If you had met Captain Pat on the street, you would never have guessed that he was an officer in the Navy or that he was responsible for nearly 10,000 people and millions of dollars of in Navy assets. He always had shaving cream behind his ear, appeared to comb his hair with a rock, and I don’t think his shoes had seen polish since before the Spanish American War. On the first day he took Command, I was sitting in my office and I heard the faint sound of the song “Rebel Rouser” coming down the hallway. As it got louder, it peaked my interest so I went to see where it was coming from. As I turned the corner into the executive suites, the music blasted, nearly knocked me over and I saw Captain Pat doing a “crazy dance” as he put stuff away in his new office. This was a far cry from our previous Commodore who was very quiet, reserved, and never came out of his office (he could have been stuffed by a taxidermist, his body propped up at his desk and no one would have known the difference). Under Captain Pat’s leadership, we went from a sterile, impersonal atmosphere to one where creativity, productivity, and teamwork flourished. He created such a positive atmosphere that it didn’t even seem like work! Why was it like that!?  Because Size Matters! Psychological size, that is.

At work, home, front of the classroom or in the community, when we have a position of power (real or perceived), we “appear” larger than those we lead and, possibly, unapproachable. If we reduce our size, we have the opportunity to connect with others and impact the environment in a positive way. Captain Pat’s ability to reduce his size by having fun, letting go, and meeting us where we were made that tour of duty the best I had ever had. Wherever you lead, do you want to create an environment that works for you and not against you? If so, then try these tips on decreasing your size.

Let loose – Have Some Fun

No matter what I do, I want to have fun while I am doing it. Yes, “fun” is subjective but it can be both an attitude or an action. It be a friendly smile as you greet people in the morning; a happy thought that keeps you positive throughout the day; a picture on your desk of your last vacation (if it was pleasant); or even the willingness to take yourself lightly (in the US?). As an action, it can be a laugh shared with co-workers; a dress-down or theme day; or it can even be a rip roaring round of blaring “Rebel Rouser” on your iPod. Anything to lighten the atmosphere and reduce your size can fit into this category. Remember, a smile is the shortest distance between 2 people.

Share Your Story

Ever go through a trial or tribulation where you felt like you were the only person that understood what was going on? Everyone has! Sharing your story can reduce that size and let others know they’re not alone. As a leader in the home, I share every awkward, funny, and (sometimes) painful story with my teenagers (we have 4). This decreases my size and opens lines of communication. Sure, it can be embarrassing and awkward but I wouldn’t trade the dialogue that follows for anything. For 22 years as a leader, I did the same thing. It made me more than a boss – it made me real, it made me human. Step out and share your story!

Be There or Be Square

In the busy-ness of how we live our lives today, we can get overwhelmed by all of the information that is continually thrown at us. This stresses us out so much that we can be left feeling diagonally parked in a parallel universe! When people come to you, step away from the distractions and be there in the moment – connect with them while they are there and where they are at that time. If they don’t come to you – GO TO THEM! Don’t be “stuffed” at your desk.

Don’t get me wrong, Captain Pat wasn’t all fun and games. He was incredibly intelligent and liked to see things get done (he was a little like Donny and Marie all wrapped up into one “little bit country, little bit rock n’ roll” package). But, it’s been nearly 20 years since I worked with him and I still remember the atmosphere he created and the lessons he taught me. These are just 3 simple things (out of a million) that you can do to decrease your psychological size and connect with others. In today’s crazy world of billion dollar bail outs, close outs, and strike outs, I don’t think there’s ever been a better time to focus on the investments that will give real returns – our investment in others. Step up, step out, and remember: SIZE MATTERS!